Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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