apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
