I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
