I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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