His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
