I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
