Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
