I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Gay?
German.
Pity.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
