i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
