I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
