operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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