Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We have started to decorate penises.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
