I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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