Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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