it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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