hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
