Dual....:-)
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
