I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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