he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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