I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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