you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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