So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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