You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
