your room smells of hookers.
And success
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
