So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
