You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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