We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
