That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
