I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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