Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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