White coat. Heels.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
