What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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