Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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