I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
