theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
