You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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