My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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