how can u be prego again
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
