Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
