Im at strip club and am horny
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
