good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
