Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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