I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
