we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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