Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
