Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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