I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
