I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
