hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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