Banned from zoo.
Again?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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